45 Minutes in Releon's Living Room
by Neon and Mali
Summary: The yamis and their hikaris crowd onto some sofa beds to be asked pointless and irritating questions... fun >:D R+R, flamers welcome!


Forty-Five Minutes in Releon's Living Room  
  
The Yamis and the Hikaris - Part I  
  
Yamiku: Hi, welcome to for-  
  
Releon: Get lost, this is my living room, I'll introduce it!  
  
Yamiku: (Mumbling) F$#@ you.  
  
Jagi: Hello! My name is Jagi! And this is Releon's Living Room! Over to Releon!  
  
Releon: Damn straight, this is my living room, and we're here for forty- five damn minutes! Now bring in the vict- uh. interviewees.  
  
Yugi: (Runs in and jumps on the sofa beds) WHEEEEEEE!  
  
Yamiku: Look, Releon! We finally got someone who rivals you in hyperactiveness!  
  
Releon: IIII don't think so. (Joins Yugi jumping on the bed) FWEEEEEE!  
  
Jagi: . and the other people..  
  
(Bakura, Ryou, Malik and Marik walk in)  
  
Yamiku: Where's Yami?  
  
Yami: (Sticks head into room) Yugi.  
  
Yugi: (Pauses from jumping)  
  
Yami: I need new socks.  
  
Yugi: You just got new ones yesterday!  
  
Yami: But I need more. (Holds up sock) See?  
  
Bakura: Holy shit, that's more hole than sock!  
  
Yugi: . God damnitt, Yami.  
  
Malik: (Brightly) I don't wear underwear!  
  
Jagi: (Backs away slowly)  
  
Yamiku: What the HELL is going on?  
  
Releon: (Still jumping)  
  
Ryou: (Watching from the corner)  
  
Yamiku: SIDDOWN RELEON!  
  
Releon: (Blows a raspberry at Yamiku)  
  
Yamiku: (Ignores this) 'kay, people, find a seat!  
  
(All sit down in random places)  
  
Marik: (Without seat) Aw.  
  
Jagi: Just sit on the armrest.  
  
Marik: (Does so; looks cool and refined)  
  
Yamiku: (Points at Yami)  
  
Yami: Look, my socks are stuffed, I don't need weird satanic rituals-  
  
Yamiku: It's a QUESTION.  
  
Yami: Question?  
  
Jagi: Yeah. It's an interview.  
  
Yami: (Glares at Bakura) You said it was a fudge party!  
  
Bakura: I say lots of things.  
  
Yamiku: Now, Yami, who would you like to be stranded with on a desert island and why?  
  
Yami: . Uh. (Glances at Yugi) um.  
  
Malik: Take your time. no, seriously, hurry up.  
  
Yami: . Yugi?  
  
Yugi: AWW! (Glomps onto Yami, who turns a brilliant shade of fire engine red)  
  
Yamiku: Aw, isn't that SWEET?! (Gets out Polaroid and takes photo)  
  
All: (Blinded, save for Releon, who is too bouncy)  
  
Yamiku: Why?  
  
Yami: . 'Cuz he's the only one who give me food.  
  
Jagi: Oh, I think there's a bit more than that..  
  
Yami: Ah-  
  
Jagi: Question 2. This is for Bakura. Okay, Bakura, what is your most embarrassing moment?  
  
Bakura: Er, that has to be the time I got arrested for.public nudity.  
  
Ryou: (Buries his face in his hands in shame)  
  
Marik: I'd LOVE to hear that story sometime!  
  
Jagi: Okay, lets not get too far into the details.  
  
Yamiku: Oh, no, let's go VERY far. exactly what happened. and I mean EXACTLY.  
  
Bakura: Um, well, me and the other yamis had a wager on who would win Wimbledon, and I like, went for Andy Roddick and one thing lead to another and I ended up wrapped in a towel in a jail cell.  
  
Yugi: Kewl.  
  
Releon: Hullo Marik.  
  
Marik: (Falls off armrest and stares back)  
  
Releon: I have a question to ask you.  
  
Marik: (Continues to stare, rather frightened at this point)  
  
Releon: Marik, dear, what is your worst personal habit?  
  
Marik: Ah keel people.  
  
Releon: (Turns to screen) Isn't that great, kids?!  
  
Bakura: Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?  
  
Releon: Bakura, do you want me to shoved Yami's sock down your throat?  
  
Bakura: No.  
  
Releon: Then shut the hell up! You will not speak until you are addressed!  
  
Bakura: . (Huddles close to Ryou)  
  
Ryou: Rack off.  
  
Bakura: (Whimpers)  
  
Yamiku: Ryou, impersonate someone in the room.  
  
Ryou: What kind of. retarded question is that?  
  
Yamiku: It's not a question, it's an order.  
  
Ryou: (Darts eyes, thinks, then screams) YU-GI-OHHHHHHHHHHH etc. (Begins prancing around) The heart of the cards, the heart of the cards, the heart of the cards, the heart of the cards.  
  
Yami: (Gawks) He just insulted us both, Yugi!  
  
Yugi: (Looks up from Budokai) Yeah, but what are you gonna do about it?  
  
Yami: A lot! (Jumps up and starts beating the living daylights out of Ryou)  
  
Ryou: Ack! Bakura, help!  
  
Bakura: No, you just told me to rack off in my hour of need, so. go to hell!  
  
Jagi: Next question! Okay, Malik, your turn!  
  
Malik: (Gulps)  
  
Jagi: Okay, If you could have anything, what would it be?  
  
Malik: WORLD DOMINATION!!! (Cackles evilly)  
  
Jagi: You're just as crazy as your yami!  
  
Marik: (Glances up) Naw, he won't be that crazy anytime soon.  
  
Yamiku: Releon. (Long pause) You have to ask Yugi a-  
  
Yugi and Releon: (Playing a clapping game) Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black.  
  
All: . WTF?  
  
Yami: (Snaps Releon) YOU LEAVE HIS BEAUTIFUL HANDS THE HELL ALONE!  
  
Releon: (Through a bloody nose) Owwies.  
  
Yugi: You hurt my friend!  
  
Yami: She's a SPAZZMO!  
  
Yugi: . She's my spazzmo.  
  
Yami: . NO! (Attempt to suffocate himself)  
  
Yamiku: . This is so screwed up. Let's just pretend from Miss Mary Mack, none of this happened.  
  
Yugi and Releon: (Playing a clapping game) Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black.  
  
Ryou: Sooo.. That never happened?  
  
Yamiku: No, from that onwards nothing happened!  
  
Releon: . If none of that happened, how do you explain this? (Points at bloody nose that is spewing blood everywhere)  
  
Yamiku: Alligators?  
  
Jagi:...Shut-up! You're just confusing everyone!  
  
Marik: JUST ASK THE QUESTION! WE ALL HAVE HOMES TO GO TO!  
  
Bakura: . and sofa beds, eh? (Sly smile)  
  
Marik: SHUT UP!  
  
Releon: . I can't ask a question.  
  
Yamiku: Why not?  
  
Releon: Because everytime I open my mouth, I think I'm gonna drown in blood!  
  
Jagi: (Notices Releon is as pale as a frickin' sheet) What the hell did you do to her, Yami!?  
  
Yami: I thought it never happened.  
  
All: ..  
  
Yamiku: Fine! Fine! Yugi, I'll ask the question!  
  
Yugi: Okay.  
  
Yamiku: What's your worst excuse for being late?  
  
Yugi: . Ever seen the movie The Ring? Well. there's this well. on the way to school. and well. I just couldn't walk past it. I ended up forty minutes late because the long way took longer than usual because it was overrun by rabid hippos. and my excuse was. 'the cards were out to get me'.  
  
All: .  
  
Ryou: I remember that. Everyone cracked up. and you got six afternoon detentions for lying.  
  
Releon: (Suddenly faints from bloodloss)  
  
Yamiku: . What the hell did you do to her?  
  
Jagi: ANSWER THIS TIME!  
  
Yami: Aw, she's just overreacting.  
  
Bakura: . I hate to say this. but SHE'S HALF DEAD! THAT IS NOT AN OVERREACTION!  
  
Yami: FINE! I CAST A SPELL ON HER THAT MAKES THE BLOOD KEEP FLOWING! HAPPY NOW?!  
  
Jagi: No, not really! (Checks Pulse) CALL FOR THE PARAMEDICS! WE NEED STITCHES!!  
  
Yamiku: Nah, she'll be fine.  
  
Releon: (Twitches like a dead cockroach)  
  
Yamiku: See?  
  
Marik: She doesn't look fine to me, I mean, I've seen dying people before, and this is.well..  
  
Yamiku: . Ah, well, she'll snap out of it, she always does. YAMI!  
  
Yami: NO I WILL NOT REMOVE THE SPELL! SHE TOUCHED MY HIKARI!  
  
Yugi: (Laughs) Look, Yami, I gots news for ya- that guy (points Bakura) has done a lot worse to me than she ever did.  
  
All: .  
  
Yami: Oh? And what did Bakura do?  
  
Yugi: WE PLAYED TWISTER!  
  
Yami: Okay. (Glares at Bakura)  
  
Bakura: And. then. it. got. weird. coz. I. was. drunk. on. orange-  
  
Yamiku: PG! PG!  
  
Bakura: Kay.  
  
Malik: Is she dead? (Pokes Releon with a ruler)  
  
Yamiku: Most likely. Now, back to the questions!  
  
Jagi: You're inhumane.  
  
Yamiku: Thank you!  
  
(Long pause)  
  
All: (Stare at corner where Releon and Yugi are once again playing clapping games)  
  
Yamiku: Like I said, she always snaps out of it!  
  
Yami: (Hisses, then logs onto the internet to scour the romance section of Fanfiction.net)  
  
Yamiku: . I think you should leave Releon's mother's laptop alone.  
  
Yami: Rack off.  
  
Yamiku: Fine.  
  
Jagi: When is 45 minutes over, it's 3a.m!! (Yawns)  
  
Releon: (pauses clapping game to sing Matchbox 20's 3a.m.) BABY, IT'S 3 A.M., I MUST BE LONELY!!!  
  
Marik: Sleep? BAHAH! Who needs sleep?  
  
Malik: Normal people.  
  
Marik: . Neither you nor I are exactly normal.  
  
Malik: Well, no shit, Sherlock.  
  
Ryou: TEN MINUTES! THEN WE GET TO GO HOME! TO BED!  
  
Bakura: Yes. to 'bed'. gah. (smacked head) BAD THOUGHTS!  
  
Yamiku: P.G.  
  
Releon: Aw, don't you wanna stay here?  
  
All: No, we don't.  
  
Yamiku: One last question.  
  
All: What?  
  
Yamiku: Will you all sing a song? .  
  
All: . Nooo..  
  
Yamiku: Well, ya's havta.  
  
All: Buggeration!  
  
Jagi: You is doing Lose Yourself by Eminem!  
  
All Yamis: YAY!  
  
Releon: No! This is my house! I get to decide!  
  
Yamiku: Well, what do YOU want them to do?  
  
Releon: (Thinks for a while) Lose Yourself by Eminem.  
  
Jagi: But I just said-  
  
Yamiku: No, let her have it. Just let her have it.  
  
Yami: (Has mystically produced karaoke machine)  
  
Yugi: . Where-  
  
Yami: Black market.  
  
Yugi: Kewl.  
  
All: (Crowd around)  
  
(Music starts)  
  
Bakura: Uh. erm. l-l. l. (Suffering from stage fright)  
  
Ryou: (Shoves him out of the way) Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity  
  
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment  
  
Would you capture it or just let it slip?  
  
Yugi: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy  
  
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti  
  
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready  
  
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin (gasp)  
  
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud  
  
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out  
  
He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now  
  
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah! (Breaks off, breathing heavily)  
  
Malik: (All happy and loud-voiced) Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity  
  
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked  
  
He's so mad, but he won't give up that  
  
Is he? No  
  
He won't have it , he knows his whole back city's ropes  
  
It don't matter, he's dope (Gasp)  
  
He knows that, but he's broke (Gasp)  
  
He's so stacked that he knows  
  
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's  
  
Back to the (Gasp) lab again yo  
  
This whole rap sh!t  
  
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him  
  
All: You better lose yourself in the music, the moment  
  
You own it, you better never let it go  
  
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow  
  
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo!  
  
Bakura: Yo? What is this 'yo'? Is it like a yo-yo?  
  
All: (Ignore him)  
  
Yami: The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping  
  
This world is mine for the taking  
  
Make me king, as we move toward a (gasp), new world order  
  
A normal life is borin, but superstardom's close to post mortar  
  
It only grows harder, only grows hotter  
  
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him  
  
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter (Gasp)  
  
Lonely roads, God only knows  
  
He's grown farther from home, he's no father  
  
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter (Panting heavily)  
  
Marik: But hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water  
  
His hoes don't want him no mo, he's cold product  
  
They moved on to the next schmoe who flows  
  
He nose dove and sold nada  
  
So the soap opera is told and unfolds  
  
I suppose it's old potna, but the beat goes on  
  
Da da dum da dum da da (Falls to the ground, gasping for breath)  
  
Yami: (Stars singing)  
  
Marik: YOU'RE OUT OF TURN!  
  
Malik: And. the music. is out.. Of sync with the lyrics.  
  
Ryou: Maybe 'cuz we skipped the chorus.  
  
Bakura: . Gah. (Still suffering stage fright)  
  
All: (Stand around wiping their noses until the next verse)  
  
Bakura: Gah.  
  
(Long pause)  
  
Ryou: (Glaring at Bakura) All the pain inside amplified by the fact  
  
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5  
  
And I can't provide the right type of (gasp) life for my family  
  
Cuz man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers  
  
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life (Big gasp)  
  
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder  
  
Tryin to feed and water my seed, plus  
  
See dishonor caught up bein a father and a prima donna  
  
Baby mama drama's screamin on and  
  
Too much for me to wanna  
  
Stay in one spot, another jam or not  
  
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail  
  
I've got to formulate a plot fore I end up in jail or shot  
  
Success is my only mothaf***in' option, failure's not  
  
Mom, I love you, but this trail has got to go  
  
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot (Gasp)  
  
So here I go is my shot.  
  
Feet fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got!  
  
(Chorus rolls around once again, no one can be bothered to sing it)  
  
Bakura: (Confidently) You can do anything you set your mind to, man.  
  
Ryou: Oh, NOW you beat the stage fright.  
  
Bakura: Shut up.  
  
Yugi: I wanna go to bed.  
  
Yami: Then we are- you are going to bed.  
  
(Yami and Yugi leave on a jet pack)  
  
All: Wow.  
  
Bakura: . (Hanglides through wall)  
  
Releon: He is SO paying for that.  
  
Ryou: . (Scoots after him on a scooter)  
  
Malik and Marik: (Look at each other, shrug, then go down to the bus stop)  
  
Yamiku: . They do know that the next bus doesn't come 'til seven a.m?  
  
Releon: Don't know, don't care. (Suddenly falls asleep)  
  
Jagi: (Goes to sleep also, but in a bed as opposed to the floor)  
  
Yamiku: (Shrugs, then picks up abandoned PS2 controller and plays Budokai)  
  
Three seconds later..  
  
Yamiku: (Snoring loudly)  
  
THE END! 


End file.
